


Sun and Moon

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco, The Young Veins
Genre: Body Dysmorphia, Body Image, Depression, Fat Shaming, I don't know what else to tag, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, body issues, sad fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 13:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7620985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the silence the wind swept through the small park where the large bridge was located, and only a small whistle was let out.</p><p>Spencer's senses seemed to heighten. The rustling of the leaves and the wind seemed louder in his ears... And the sound of an acoustic guitar in the distance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sun and Moon

Not an ounce of regret ran through him. Spencer was ready to jump off a large bridge located in his small town. He took in deep breathes and he looked at the rushing water beneath his feet.

The water looked so relaxed. He wanted to be like that. At peace with the world for once.

Who would be concerned with him when he was gone? Not his parents, certainly. They were the ones taunting him and telling him,"Lose a few pounds, Hun." And honest to god, he did try.

Everyday he had gone on a run, and tried to eat healthily to please his parents. Throughout the long days, Spencer wanted to lose weight.

The world told him he'd be happier that way. People around him told Spencer he'd be satisfied with himself once he lost pounds.

At one occurrence during a time with Brendon a stranger approached Spencer and didn't even try to conceal their disapproval of Spencer's body.

The two men were just at a water park trying to catch up on each other's lives.

"Crunches."

"What?"

"You should do crunches. It helps with your stomach."

"Oh."

The stranger nodded and walked away from Spencer to join their group of "fit" friends. Brendon gave Spencer a sympathetic look and told him that it wasn't his fault, the stranger was just being a prick.

Brendon wouldn't know, though. Brendon had his girlfriend Sarah around always to tell him how handsome and beautiful he was. In high school the two had met because Spencer had moved lockers due to harassment, and his locker was right next to Sarah's.

From period to period Brendon would check up on Spencer and make sure he was okay. Occasionally he would say hi to Sarah, and the two had hit it off.

For months then on Spencer had the rest of high school alone. Brendon who was his only real friend had left him to maintain his relationship with Sarah.

He did have one acquaintance though. The boy's name was Ryan. One day while Spencer was walking in the hallway he had been shoved into the lanky boy.

"Our skin just had sex," the teen whispered hesitantly. "I dunno if I can handle a child."

Spencer laughed nervously and furrowed his brows. "What?" He sputtered nervously. The dude in front of him had just stared into his full eyes for what seemed to be an eternity.

Is skin sex even a thing from two people making contact? What was this person thinking?

"Oh, uh, sorry about Ryan," a voice interrupted. Spencer blinked and looked up to see a male with shaggy, dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes look at him apologetically.

"Ryan's a weirdo. Don't worry though, he's always like this," the guy let out a bellow of laughter and tilted his head back while doing so, then exposing his slight stubble. Spencer though it suited him.

"Yeah, okay," Spencer mumbled as he looked at the ground. Mr. Stubble was wearing a pair of scandals like a hippie or something.

Spencer scanned the male's body in front of him. He was built well, and wore a maroon v neck with a pair of gray sweatpants, as well his scandals making the teen look like a thirty year old hippie.

"Jon, I like this guy. He looks like he could father our children," Ryan snapped Spencer out of his thoughts.

That was how Spencer had met Jon and Ryan. They didn't replace Brendon though, as nobody could. Brendon helped Spencer cope with his body image, but he was no longer there to help now.

Jon and Ryan did help Spencer forget, though. The three of them had hung out a couple of times. 

When they did, Jon would always ask Spencer how he was doing, and if he needed to say anything. A part of Spencer wish he said that he wasn't okay, and that he did open up to Jon.

Ryan, on the other hand did care, but he had an odd way of showing it. During the times Ryan could obtain any pills he'd ask Spencer is he wanted some.

"You sure, Spence? Jon didn't catch me so you won't get in trouble. Forget about reality for a little while," Ryan grinned and motioned for Spencer to come closer.

Oh, how he wish he could. Here he was, finally ready to forget reality. Permanently.

Spencer inhaled deep breathes and tried to calm himself down. Nobody would be here to stop him. This was his decision.

Raindrops had fallen onto his face, but the weren't from the sky.

In the silence the wind swept through the small park where the large bridge was located, and only a small whistle was let out.

Spencer's senses seemed to heighten. The rustling of the leaves and the wind seemed louder in his ears... And the sound of an acoustic guitar in the distance.

Humming and the reverberation of guitar strumming became louder. "Shit," he whispered under his breath.

Spencer felt his heart beat out of his chest. He couldn't be found out now, with tears stained on his face.

"please hear me out  
i don't want to shout  
i don't need the sun and the moon  
to tell me what to do  
as long as i have you

i could have been a lot of things  
i could have see the world with broken wings  
you're the only one who understands  
yea, you're the only one who understands."

Whoever this person was couldn't find out about what Spencer was doing. They'd save him, and he didn't want to be saved. No one had done that for him, so he had no desire in it.

In the moment Spencer panicked. He took in a deep breath and jumped off. Time seemed to slow down, and a loud gasp left the person's mouth, and Spencer assumed that whoever was singing and playing dropped their guitar.

Spencer thought he would maybe float back up, but then he remembered why he was drowning himself. Before, he thought he was panicking, but this is real panic.

His body froze up and he couldn't feel movement in arms as he flailed about. He accidentally sucked in more water as he screamed for help. This isn't how Spencer wanted to go.

The water burned his nostrils and throat. Spencer's lungs had compressed from pressure, and he felt the life he had being washed out of him. Slowly, he fell into the abyss of darkness.

Spencer let out a loud gasp as he woke up. Large breathes of air flowed through his lungs, and he silently thanked the man who saved him.

"You're awake," a low, deep voice grinned.

"Yeah," Spencer managed to speak out. 

Spencer's body was laid upon an old, uncomfortable couch. He blinked a couple of times. The light blinded him before he could make out the shape of a body. It was Jon, or so he thought. Tan skin, dark brown hair, and this time a full on beard with a mustache included.

"W-What were you doing at the park that l-late at night?" Spencer stuttered. It felt odd to speak again, especially to someone who just saved you from killing yourself.

"I could ask you the same, Spencer," Jon raised his eyebrows. Spencer shrugged and muttered to himself. "What was that? I didn't catch what you said."

  
"It's nothing," Spencer snapped. Jon didn't seem phased by what Spencer had done. "If you really want to know what at I was doing at the park that late at night I was just playing my guitar like I always do at night. For the old people around and stuff," Jon explained with a carless tone.

"Really Jon? I'm not an old lonely guy," Spencer chuckled. Jon smiled and pretended to laugh along.  

"Nobody tells you about the ounce of regret you have when you jump," Jon spoke. Spencer sat up and Jon  took a seat next to him. All he could do was stare at the ground because he didn't have a response. Jon was right.

"T-Thank you," Spencer burst into tears. "I just thought it would just end way faster."

Jon held Spencer in his arms, and continued to let him cry.

"I should of helped you earlier and I swear I won't ever leave you." 

**Author's Note:**

> I write when I'm sad a lot and I haven't gone over this, so sorry if it's kinda bad.


End file.
